Charity Envieth Not

I tend to commingle scripture and Shakespeare, both of which live rent free in my head. While giving attention this month to the scriptural statement that charity envieth not (Moroni 7:45), Shakespeare’s Sonnet 29 came to mind.

Sonnet 29

When in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

     For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

     That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

-William Shakespeare

Prepare yourself–I’m going to explicate a poem. Thanks, high school English classes.

In the sonnet, the poet compares his state with those of his peers, who seemingly have more friends, talents, and, likely as a result of this abundance, more hope. This exercise in envy plunges the poet into a darkness that almost convinces him to despise himself. It is only upon remembering the love of his friend (or lover?), for whom the poem is intended, that the poet is freed. His spirit takes flight, breaking earth’s bonds, as he recognizes he’d choose his bountiful life over that of a king.

I’ve lived too many days with the poet’s grass is greener attitude, and I’m willing to wager you have too. We envy the state of others, who clearly have it better than us. This man’s art, that man’s scope. This woman’s leadership skills, that woman’s effortless beauty. Our own enjoyments fade as we indulge in our misguided and ill-conceived envy.

Alright, so, comparison is the thief of joy. That checks out when we find ourselves despising our lives because we envy our neighbor’s. But I’m looking at envy through the lens of charity. What about envy is non-charitable? Suffering long and being kind–in a sense, they’re a performative charity. If I keep my little envy grudge to myself, can I still claim and cultivate charity?

I don’t think I can.

I can’t wholeheartedly rejoice in my brother or sister’s success if I envy them for their achievement. I can’t give freely if I view my own state as impoverished. I can’t impart peace if I have none to give. My charitable efforts are stunted when jealousy dams my generosity.

Charity envieth not.

Put in the positive, we could say it this way. Charity is gratitude for our lives–our gifts, our challenges, all of it. Charity is unhampered happiness for our neighbors because they have gifts and challenges too. Charity is the freedom to love untethered by pettiness. Charity is contentment.

I recommend reading a wonderful talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland titled, “The Laborers in the Vineyard.” It’s all magnificent, and I specifically loved this part addressing envy:

“Brothers and sisters, there are going to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.

Furthermore, envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around you has a happy moment! To say nothing of the chagrin in the end, when we find that God really is both just and merciful, giving to all who stand with Him ‘all that he hath,’ as the scripture says. So lesson number one from the Lord’s vineyard: coveting, pouting, or tearing others down does not elevate your standing, nor does demeaning someone else improve your self-image. So be kind, and be grateful that God is kind. It is a happy way to live.”

(Did you see that little call out to kindness there at the end? Yesssss!)