Charity is Kind

It’s a bad sign when you ask someone about how their date went and they respond with, “It was … nice.” That’s not-so-subtle code for “it was boring as all get out and I’m hoping they lose my number.” It’s also how I described to my college roommate the first kiss I experienced with the guy I was dating at the time. She responded that he clearly wasn’t going to be the guy for me.

It seems like “kind” is relegated to the same fate as “nice.” It’s not flashy or eye-catching. But I think we overlook the incredible value of these unassuming virtues.

Consider this statement by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, from an address titled “The Virtue of Kindness:”

“Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.”

And this, from the same address:

“Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes.”

Kindness is the essence of greatness and a celestial life. Not flashy, but instead, foundational. 

I had read these words of Elder Wirthlin’s not long before I was lucky enough to watch the recent BYU forum address given by Freeman Hrabowski. I won’t be able to summarize it as well as Tad Walch did for the Deseret News; please read his article and watch Mr. Hrabowski’s forum if you have time. The lesson that Mr. Hrabowski taught me was that kindness can be a radical act. It can rewrite long established scripts, upend stereotypes, and change hearts.

My husband tells me that, when he re-entered the dating scene following his divorce, he was looking for a woman that was nice. It was at the top of his list. He assures me that I passed that test with flying colors and that I continue to. And now, instead of feeling like “nice” is bland and boring, I am deeply grateful that it’s a word my husband feels describes me. I hope to live up to it. What a 180 degree change from college days…

March’s charity focus? Envieth not.

Postscript: For a beautiful example of kindness, watch Elder Wirthlin’s “The Great Commandment.” You’ll see his colleague and brother in the gospel, the then-Elder Russell M. Nelson, physically support Elder Wirthlin after his knees locked while delivering the address. What a touching display of kindness and love! I tear up every time I watch it.