Charity Suffereth Long

Long suffering (adj.) Having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people. – Google definition

I’m starting to feel that long suffering is a hugely underappreciated characteristic in the people around us. I’m just gonna go ahead and suggest that if you are blessed with a long suffering spouse, or long suffering children, parents, siblings, and/or friends, you might consider thanking them for bearing with you.

I’m not saying you’re a total pain. But you are, sometimes, a pain. We all are. We’re human. We put dents in car doors. We make messes that we don’t always clean up. We say uncalled for and painful things. When the people in our lives exhibit patience with our failings, when they love us despite the hurt we inflict upon them, we ought to rejoice and repent–on repeat. Additionally, we ought to be long suffering, both with those who are patient with us and with those who require our patience in the face of the troubles they bring us. The latter is a heavier lift, but it’s what Christ did and it’s what He asks of us.

As in all charitable things, the Savior is our best example of patience in spite of troubles caused by others:

“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.”

1 Nephi 19:9

Only a being who allowed himself to be scourged, smitten, and spat upon by people determined to destroy him could, with a straight face, command us to “love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that despitefully use you and persecute you” (3 Nephi 12:44).

This kind of active patience feels Herculean. It can only come step by small step. First, omissions. Refraining from lashing out. Ceasing to contend. Later, commissions. Offering up prayers. Speaking a kind word. Our capacity for Christ-like love incrementally increases with each patient step. It is work, but it is sacred work.

My loved ones, they suffer me long. I am grateful for the gift and hope they feel the same gift coming from me. There is so much growth and goodness in the exchange, in the space we hold for each other. What a beautiful portion of love there is in long suffering!

Might I recommend a reading to you? Elder Neal A. Maxwell’s “But for a Small Moment” was perhaps the most edifying piece I studied this month in relation to long suffering. You will be well paid for any time spent with it.

Up next in February? Kindness. Charity is kind.